Catherine De’ Medici’s (505 years old) Killer Timballo

Cardinal Richelieu and Catherine De’ Medici’s Killer Timballo

”If you give me 6 lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang them.” Richelieu

“Such a fine man: if only he thought as we do.” De’Medici

Ingredients:

2 live couriers

Ragout

"Special" rigatoni

Béchamel sauce

“Special” tomatoes

Black truffles

Breadcrumbs

Butter

Parmesan

2 dead couriers

Serve to any pretenders to the thrown or anyone who’s too smart for their own good*

*you eat alone

Richelieu. Good morning, Cathy.

Catherine. And good morning to you, Eminence.

Richelieu. So, what are you going to make for us today?

Catherine. Well, since winter's coming and it's getting good and cold outside I thought it would be nice to make something warm and cozy, something you can snuggle up to and maybe eat with that special someone under a quilt in front of the TV.

Richelieu. Or in front of a nice, warm fire.

Catherine. Oh, yes, of course. I know how you love a good fire.

Richelieu. Yup, I sure do. So, is there anything I can do?

Catherine. Why don't you chop up some of those onions over there? Yeah, that's right. Not too small. We’re going to sauté them along with the rest in a pan with some good'ol olive oil.

Richelieu. Ok. But I hope you don't mind if I put on some protective gloves, do you?

Catherine. Of course not, silly. You can never be too careful. And now we're going to add some tomatoes?

Richelieu. Tomatoes? I don't see them anywhere?

Catherine. Oh, I like to bring them up from my own private, ah, source. Why, here comes the courier now. Mmmm, don't they look delicious!

Richelieu. Indeed they do, indeed they do. So, you put them in the pan once the herbs and diced vegetables have sweated?

Catherine. Uh-huh. But first make sure to kill the courier. Trust me, these tomatoes are so good you don't want anyone else to find out where they come from. Then add a pinch of sugar to neutralize the acidity, salt and pepper. And after it's cooked awhile you start boiling the rigatoni.

Richelieu. Oh, wait, hold on. When I heard from one of my little “birds” that you'd be making Timballo, I went right out and got some of my “special” rigatoni.

Catherine. Eminence, you old rascal you! I can't keep anything secret from you. Well, let me guess; then you kill your courier?

Richelieu. Cathy, these noodles are like heaven on earth. I wouldn't give their secret away to anyone, I mean anyone, at all.

Catherine. Not even the Pope? Ho-ho, just kidding. Anyway, now you put one layer of the sauce in the bottom of the baking tray - and just look what I found! Isn't it adorable? I just love the heart-shape. Then some of the pre-boiled noodles, then another layer of sauce, and then just keep layering all the way to the top, where you add the truffles and cheese. Now into a hot oven for a good 30 minutes or so, and then - this is the key - let it rest awhile before serving.

Richelieu. And let me guess, you just so happened?

Catherine. That’s right. I made one special so it would be ready to taste. And voila! Here it is. Let me cut you a nice big piece.

Richelieu. But what about you?

Catherine. Oh, I really should watch that figure, you know.

Richelieu. Oh, but you went to so much trouble! I insist. Here, have the first bite of my piece.

Catherine. No, no, after you.

Richelieu. No, ladies first. After you.

Catherine. No, I couldn't, after you.

Richelieu. After you.

Catherine. After you…

The real recipe:

Ingredients:
600 grams of rigatoni

Butter

Ragout (see Joyce)

Breadcrumbs

Thinly sliced black truffle

Grated Parmesan

Béchamel

serves 6

Make a ragout, a béchamel sauce and an unsweetened pastry crust. Boil some rigatoni in salted water for half the recommended time written on the package. Strain the noodles and mix them immediately with the ragout. Butter a baking dish and liberally sprinkle with breadcrumbs, then line with the pastry crust. Cover the bottom of the crust with a layer of béchamel, then a layer of the pasta with the ragout, and over that with, well, whatever you like, though sliced black truffle works particularly well. Continue layering to the top of the baking dish, with the last layer of béchamel being covered by some freshly grated Parmigiano. Place in a hot oven for 30 minutes, and b.y.o.b. (bring your own Barbera (wine),) just in case.

 link- 

Catherine de Medici || Best of Humor